lost, and it's all so clear.

Suddenly it’s almost Christmas, all this time I’ve been at work. It’s over now, emotionally it left me drained and creatively it stabbed me in the back. But that’s all over now, I’m never going back. These days are too precious waking up to the cold crisp winter mornings, my darling wife beside me, our little son warm inside her. We’re already one.
I start to listen to joan of arc once again, after a 10 month break. I saw a band called Owen which contains the brother of the singer of joan of arc, and it was the worst band I’d ever seen, the most annoying people and it shocked me. This is why I can never see joan of arc themselves, even if they ever make it to England. Or Germany for that matter….
We have a tv now. We never had a tv before, not in these past 4 years we’ve been together. It’s weird to have a tv, but now I understand what the people talk about in the streets about tv programs . I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. We also have a mobile phone. Something else I never thought I’d own. It was all those wasted months I was at the telephone job, incase something happened I could be reached…Now anyway the credit has ran out, and I don’t see myself topping it up anytime soon.
We have no money anymore. I was working and working and somehow money kept running out, so now I quit work for good and it doesn’t matter anymore. I feel free and I couldn’t care less, I had to break from this 9-5 deadlock. I missed my family too much. Perhaps if I had a worthwhile job it wouldn’t be that way, but doesn’t matter. I’m starting my own thing. I couldn’t care less what the bank guy says. Once our little baby boy arrives I'm sure as hell not wasting my time doing some shitty job, if we end up a gyspy family thats just how it will be, touring the world in our little caravan, home-ed all the way!! Well, we're not there quite yet, but we'll see how it goes....Things make more sense than ever now.
Anyway, I’m still here. I can’t stop dreaming, no matter how much I get knocked down.