Another year, another dollar.

New Year’s Day, the champagne still bubbles in my blood and I’m listening to Bob Dylan’s radio show on BBC music and I have to think of my father-in-law, the two are always linked. Actually the music is good, and that’s all that matters. Even if it is only baseball songs. Somehow it makes sense. I wonder if life is just a long baseball game? Nothing ever happens, it goes on too long, and you’re finally striked out…..

No no no not for me. I can’t run out of dreams. It occurs to me instead that life is like a pinball game. That must be the most stupid thing I’ve ever written, I might as well say it’s like a box of chocolates. But then there’s no thrill in chocolate. Thrills in pinball? Or just getting rattled and banged around in this world, lights flashing, music whirling, some points adding up but what does it really mean?

This year I’ve got more money than I ever had before. But what does that really mean? This time last year we had less money than we ever had. Before we went to the cheap supermarket, now the expensive one. But we’re still here, this little loving family. I don’t care for money, money can’t buy me love. But what to do, what to do? I guess we might go and live in Canada or Sweden for 6 months someplace where we can sing songs at 3am and play nursery rhyme (mother-goose) tapes in the afternoon watching the sun set and talking over jigsaw games and endless cups of hot cocoa. Oh, having children does change things it’s all true, but in ways you never dreamed possible. Life makes sense; life is filled with new colours you didn’t even know existed before.

What do you do for a living? I protect my family and dream of a better life for my children…You know I’m gonna be 30 soon, isn’t it time to grow up and put away all those silly records and poetry books and go and get a REAL JOB. Oh yes, I’ve got responsibilities now.
But then I always did. I thought about being a preacher. I thought about being a book dealer. I thought about having a cd shop. All these things come and go. As it is I’ve got a little red bible I never read, a book that cost 100 pounds I want to sell for 500 one day many years from now, and my cd’s are for sale to any interested passer by. I haven’t gone to Church for months and I don’t miss it at all. My book website hasn’t been changed for months. And I only listen to the same cd over and over again. But in my heart I pray every day, I feel Goosebumps when the paper talks about a book auction coming up, and I had tears in my eye’s listening to a song this afternoon in the car. Make out of that whatever you will/can.

I like this blog spot. It never makes any sense. I like that.

Here comes the radio news…. Bulgaria and Romania are now in the EU so we can go and live there. Hmm. I don’t think even I’m quite ready for that just yet. Well well, you never know next time I might be posting from Romania, Ezekiel playing in the snow outside and Franny stumbling home exhausted from her day working at the orphanage (we have talked of this, it could be.). As it is, Ezekiel sleeps in his warm little nursery room under the protective with warm blanket, Teddy bears, and "baby-phone", and Franny is at the cinema with her friends eating German chocolate. I’m here with the radio, dreaming of tomorrow’s richness.

MUSIC - midlake / hefner / patti smith / joan of arc / the elected / Radio 6 /gossip / surjan stevens
BOOKS - some book whose name escapes me about a French girl who goes to live in America I got for free. Some bookdealer I am!