my view of humanity has gone down the drain...

Well not quite, but I did listen to that Bob D tape an awful lot driving to and from the hospital in Oldenburg, Germany. Now I'm back in England, and I think we'll get by this winter. It's not too long until spring, it's just tricky walking when I'm not sure if it's dreams or nightmares when I'm awake, and just coal blackness when I shut my eyes at night.

I'm just happy it's 2006. I remember 86. I remember 96. That's as far back as it goes.

Still, I play games and I ride my bike around Norwich, stopping off at Olives coffee shop, counting the possibilities of life. I only read William Faulkner and Ezekiel from the bible. I listen to Pedro the lion's final cd, the new Yann Tierson cd, and sonic youth. I sit here this morning, and realise it's only freedom that can bring me happiness. I know I have to support my family,but I fear I can only show them love, I can offer them no security. Is this selfish? I'm dozing off the falling honey wax of some kind of dream all those mucisians and artists gave me many years ago. It's a mess, it's dangerous, but it gives colour to those pale winter streets.