songs that were written all about you

Outsider, no more. Once you have a child, you join the real world. Everyone smiles, the government send their congratulations, the tax man sends a extra cheque, everyone comes by, everyone smiles even more and shakes your hand, it’s all right, you’re one of us now, the bank man smiles, the milkman smiles, the tax man smiles, the waitress smiles, the pensioner smiles, the office clerk smiles, the shop assistant smiles, the doctor smiles, the teacher smiles, the doorbell rings again.
Since Ezekiel arrived 9 weeks ago, like everyone said, life changed so it’s now unrecognisable. I’ve experienced such joy that words can’t describe the happiness and love, and yes damn belonging to something that having a little baby brings. You’ve heard it before; you look at the world in a new way. You say to the baby, I’ll make this world worth living for you. I’ll do whatever it takes, I won’t let you down little baby, you’re too innocent too sweet I’ll always be here, never let you down., as you turn up the new boy least likely to record to soothe his poor little tears. And, it works. He stops crying, he smiles as the nursery rhyme rhythm kicks in and the boy sings “please be gentle with me, and I’ll be gentle with you. I guess I always needed to be needed by someone.” Hmmm, too close to home that one.
So, why write now. Why write when I’ve never been so happy, when the world has never made so much sense, when everything seems easy and possible, and waking up I’ve never felt so enriched with life since those crisp Hamburg mornings I first met Rebekka.
I write now after 9 weeks, because poetry comes back. It always sneaks back on you, it’s something you can be free of, the pain of disappointment, of love-gone-sour, of broken dreams and uncertainty of one’s meaning in a accelerated world creeps up, even when you’ve never been so happy. Even when you join society, and you smile back at their warm but empty eyes, because you know deep down they can smile, but you won’t ever be completely contaminated by the world….
BOOKS - “never let me go’ by Kazuo Ishiguro
MUSIC - Ezekiel’s first tape made by his German grandfather / sunkilmoon / boy least likely to / rogers sisters / Idle wild / yann tierson / strokes / Stan Getz & Dizzy Gillespie / the strokes / beastie boys / the smiths / postman pat.
TV - neighbours / bring back the A team
OTHER - bus journeys now car has broken down for good / visitors / taylor’s coffee / letters of Mozart / freedom more than ever….