birth of a salesman (not quite)

Well, everything falls apart and falls into place at the same time. I now have the lowest paid job I have ever taken in my life which is a 10 hour weekly car commute, and I am living back at my mums house in the forest in England because the thousands of pounds we took to Germany is all gone. The only glimmer of a brighter future right now is the fact I got accepted into a rather selective prestigious post grad Journalism intense course in Brighton. I took my published articles, did a two hour exam, and did the interview where the guy asked me what I wanted to do in 10 years and for a moment my heart skipped at the possibilities - because in 1998 my life was unrecognisable to me now. I instead said something about running my own book and music magazine and somehow a few days later a letter arrived to say I was accepted and thank God I wrote those articles for book dealer magazine or I wouldn’t have even got invited to the interview in the first place.

But wait, I haven’t even mentioned really why we are back in England. I suppose the losing thousands of pounds kind of gave it away. Well, no socially it was the most intense fun filled time I have had since Uni. Economically it sucked. Ezekiel loved living in the countryside rushing to the horses every day, but Fran and I sensed the loneliness and hopelessness of it all so I drove back with a friend of mine for a few days to look for jobs and spend cosy evenings in the country pubs talking about love over countless real ale beers.

Fran and Ezekiel flew over a week later, and here we are. The job I have is selling childrens books and suffice to say I fucking hate it. I know the people I talk to are going to be ripped off and tied down to some ridiculous complicated book scheme where its virtually impossible to quit and I don’t even want to telephone them and really if it wasn’t for Brighton and the necessity of getting at least 5000 bucks in till August I really wouldn’t bother.

Free Money.

Actually it all does kind of work out, because Germany was such an intense learning time and I can hardly deny the times drinking wine with friends or even going out for dinner with Fran’s parents were nothing short of beautiful, and perhaps because I had nothing I felt the love of Jesus roll into my heart and speak to me in psalms and poems. That sounds a little bit crazy, but I suppose you had to be there to understand.

Back to the present. Life in the woods is ok. I feel sorry for my society wife, who so loves to be surrounded by people and friends, but it isn’t too bad. Slowly things are starting to come into focus after the whirlwind rushed us into near blindness and you know what? I am pretty sure everything is going to be alright, forever.

BOOKS >>> I absolutely loved George Gissing “The Odd Women” / Keith Green “A cry in the wilderness” / “The bill from my father” by ? (true story about a fucked up father/son relationship)

MUSIC >>> My favourite cd for ages is Stars “in our bedroom after the war” / various cds from Norwich library (nothing amazing) / The Jazz radio station’s last few weeks

OTHER THINGS >>> Family outings (to local castles, small country towns like Ely, lakes, rivers, the 2 mile walk to the village, etc), birthdays again, American politics, and the culture show tv show!